To put things simply, 2019 is not my year.
This has been very stressful for me, and I think that's because I've been learning and growing as a person which obviously means it has been filled with many ups and quite a few downs as well. There have been many opportunities when I honestly just wanted to lose my s**t but apparently that's "not appropriate" to do at a Kroger at 11 pm when you're trying to buy chocolate and ice cream, and no you're not on your period you just really hate today and you know that although eating your feelings is "unhealthy" and "frowned upon" you don't really care because in the moment you know it will make things better.
Just me? Great.
Well thankfully even though some parts of 2019 have sucked balls they've taught me something, and one of the biggest lessons I've learned so far is:
The way someone treats you says everything about them and nothing about you.
Let that sink in for a second and really think about it, because if I'm being honest the first time I heard that I thought to myself yeah right, but a couple of weeks later when I heard it again it hit me.
That's the annoying part about learning life lessons, you usually hear them quite a few times before you consider that they might be right before the lesson slaps you across the face and you realize you were dumb for not getting it a long time ago.
Again... Just me? (hopefully not)
Sooooo let's talk about that for a second, one of the things I'm constantly amazed by is how inconsiderate people are when they "know more than you". One thing I've realized is that the older generations who constantly tear down my generation tend to mock us when we ask them questions about "adulting" and then get mad at us when we don't know the answers.
Just recently I've been exploring the idea of owning a home. I didn't mean to bring it up publicly because I knew I would be faced with a whole bunch of opinions I didn't want to hear but some things you can't control and it became public knowledge. Well now I'm faced with everyone telling me how stupid I am for not knowing how to get a loan to purchase a home, how to but a home privately, or how to buy a foreclosed home. Just asking questions has given people the idea that it's ok to tell me how I'm doing everything wrong and it's so stressful.
I'm always shocked at how rude people can be when they think you're living your life "wrong". But I'm the kind of person, who until recently, needed everyone to like me. It was my personal life goal to make sure that people had a positive view of me and that if someone didn't like me my main focus was to change their opinion no matter what it took. It literally took over my life and free time just focusing on other people.
And if other people weren't treating me well no matter what I did, I blamed myself until I realized some people are not worth the time energy and stress and quite frankly some people are just rude for no reason. If someones main goal in life is to ruin your day, that's not your problem. It's not on you to change that person. That person is miserable and honestly it's sad. I pity that person. More and more I realize that there are women out there that are so unhappy they're tearing everyone else down around them instead of championing each other. How often do we blame not enough support between women and then turn around and there's someone in your life who is trying to make your life harder. Whether it's talking behind your back, or throwing you under the bus, there's always gonna be someone out there that doesn't like you. It's just a fact no matter how hard it is to swallow.
The difference is how to deal with that person. My new mantra is mind ya business. I don't waste my time trying to convince other people to like me all of the time. It's just not worth it. Now I spend time on myself which is so crucial! I go on what I call adult field trips where at least once a week I go walk for an hour at a park. Sometimes I listen to podcasts, sometimes I just think about life and where I want to be and sometimes I bitch about my problems to my dog and let me tell you that's some therapeutic s**t right there. She'll never tell my secrets, never judge me, and she always takes my side. (So if you're going through life hard right now get a dog- they're practically therapists.) I go and do things I want to do- like go to museums or drive in movies. Or whatever the hell I want.
When someone is rude, that's not your problem. It's theirs. They're being the butthole not you. I know, trust me I know, how difficult that is to actually do but once you get there. IT WILL CHANGE YA DAMN LIFE.
So all I wanted to say is if you're stressing right now over someone else. DON'T! Mind ya business and do something for yourself today. Maybe it's catching up on that show you love that you fell behind on, maybe its reading before bed, maybe it's just painting your nails but do something for yourself today and don't worry about other people, you can't change them and they'll always surprise you with how much they'll let you down if you rely on them. So just don't worry about it. Some people aren't going to like you for things you can't change, and if that's the case.... f**k em.