You'll Change Your Mind

There is one phrase I HATE hearing more than anything else in the entire world:

Don't worry you'll change your mind.

Not being dramatic (but maybe just a little) I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it. But here's the thing, I can't explain to you how many times I've heard that phrase in the last two years.

Me: I don't think I ever want to get married.

Them: Don't worry you'll change your mind.

Me: I'm not really interested in having kids.

Them: Don't worry you'll change your mind.

Me: I'm definitely not trying to date anyone for a while.

Them: Don't worry you'll change your mind.

Me: Expresses view on something political/religious/fill in blank here.

Them: Don't worry you'll change your mind.

Now here's why this simple little phrase is driving me insane: it's patronizing.

It's a device people use to say, I'm smarter than you and I know better and instead of listening to your point of view and why you have these ideas I'd rather just ignore your point of view and express I know what's right and one way you'll feel the way I do because I'm better.

Also when I say that there's something that I don't want to do, like lets say have children. IT IS NOT AN ATTACK AGAINST WOMEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN. That one drives me mad as well. Moms will get so mad when you say that you don't want to have children and I'm not entirely sure as to why that is. Like Barbra I'm gonna be straight with you. I would be a terrible mother. I'm choosing not to be a terrible mother, by not being a mother, and somehow that makes me a bad person? Where's the logic?

Also I personally don't see the point in marriage. After living through my parents marriage I can see how bad things can get, and that's not a life experience I would ever want. Also, if I'm being honest I look at a lot of people my age that are married that aren't loving it. I don't want that. We can live together, and be together, and yes, you can buy me a diamond ring. But if you asked me today if I want to be married the answer is no.

NOW WITH THAT BEING SAID. I have ALWAYS said that if today was the only day I could have children, or the only day I could get married I would say no. But if you asked me that question again in five years, the answer could change.

I'm not so cynical to believe that I could meet "the one", or one day I could see the cutest baby ever and my ovaries could explode. It can happen, but that doesn't mean that my current views on the matters aren't valid either.

All I'm saying is the next time you want to say, "don't worry you'll change your mind" maybe stop and ask the person instead, why do you feel that way? You may be surprised as to what you'll hear and you don't know what you can learn about someone you've known for a really long time.

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